1. |
Deep Indigo (Album ver.)
04:07
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These days that never change, laying in the blur of a deep blue indigo
Below a fading sky
I heard the same today, the thundering applause that as always never came
The song I sang as empty as the life I waste
So things would never change
I wrote inside my notebook, a far off fairytale, the starring role you played
This month is empty too, I’m cut off from the world, society, all the news
My life slowly drips away, like the ink I write in
As I’ve gotten older, this dream from my younger by gone years, it slowly starts to fade...
And all I can do is wait
When I, when I look up and see the clouds above
They all just, just pass me by and disappear
The night sky full of petals dancing in the wind
So much so it almost feels like a dream
Like the way I’m losing sight of you it seems
My eyes, they point straight down, realising now that life is nothing but
one trade off after the next
I don’t believe in fate, or love or life or things they play on the radio
There isn’t any use for things that can’t be sold
The now I so wanted, I threw in the trash bin, and watching it all slowly fade away... I’m lying still here in wait
Just now, just now I saw a distant image of you far out of sight when I had closed my eyes
My notebook filled with flowers dancing in the night
Like the one I hold inside my eyes
Life is just, one trade off after another
Something that I learnt quick as I got older
Elma, it’s been you y’know
The music I’ve been listening that’s kept me going
Two verses left, not even worth mentioning
Since life is priced as… how tragically the storyline ends
Just then, just then, I saw your picture in my mind
Oh despite, despite the blue that blurs your smile
Those petals dancing on the wind across the sky
As the indigo blue fills my eyes
Cause I, cause I....
I thought I saw you dancing in the distant sky
Carried by the wind and out of sight
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2. |
Say It. (Album ver.)
04:00
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Hey it's me
So you see
I noticed it really in the end
You know, what you had told to me then
Didn't think
Anything
About it, pushing it from my mind
Forgetting but realizing I'm
Running blindly, reckless finally
Dreams that lied seem so true
Don't like waiting, patience fading
Barely making it through
I know this just won't do
Surely
If on the day I die
I turn to look at my life
I'd still love each and every moment that I was alive
Ah
Finally
If on the day I die
You can't be there at my side
Once more
Simply
Repeat
Simply
Clearly
Tell me
Hey it's me
Do you see
What I see? And how the sky is blue
Oh how can I get it through to you?
How at night
In the sky
The clouds are so far, they're out of reach
Oh how can I ever make you see?
Tell me
Hey it's me
So you see
I really had known it all along
Ya know, how you were already gone
And you see
I believe
You'd tell me I'm stubborn every time
I want to forget you but I find
Tell it to me more clearly
Making a note of it, hold to it dearly
Telling me 10, at the train, see you there, don't be late
And other meetings
Without the petals, is a flower
Staying alive in our memories, a Summer
Giving it words, read
Give it a voice, send
What you had said then
And so
If on the day I die
You come to be at my side
Surely
Upon the day I die
I'll sing of the love in my life
Like you said, every moment was worth it to be alive
Ah
Upon the day I die
You won't be there at my side
Even now I really can't believe
Once more
Simply
Simply
Simply
Once more
Simply
Simply
Honestly
Once more
Simply
Simply
Simply
Simply
Clearly
Tell me
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3. |
Hole in the Heart
04:28
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Yesterday a hole had opened
Right in the middle of my chest for all to see
Twilight colours, just like midnight
Painted the town so beautifully
Deep in my memories
Deep in my memories
Deep in my mem’ries
I want to forget but I’m swallowed in blue
And all I can see through that blue is you
That’s why a hole has opened up where my heart is
Pounding my heartbeat tried to fill up the nothing
But when I tried to say it loud, the words that left my mouth
Were nothing more than excuses
That’s why a hole has opened up where my heart is
My only thought was how the rain was so comforting
And so I mend, and so I mend, I try to mend
All that I am, alone, again
How can I explain the feeling?
It’s almost like sleeping in a sunny forest clearing
Like a dream still felt in waking
Like the sea, its real depths are so dizzying
So dizzying…. So dizzying
So dizzying, the dizzying night can’t conceal the moonlight
Illuminating, shining from your eyes
That’s why I opened up a hole where your heart was
Why does it matter, music really is pointless!
If you don’t open up your mouth
You’ll never say it loud, or get the things you deserve hey
There’s just so much I wanna wipe from my memories
But in the end I only sigh and cry tears
I trip and fall, I trip and fall, I trip and fall
Down on the cold and solid ground
Putting to paper way I lived
Following blindly the way you did
The songs you left aren’t gonna save me
Music’s never gonna save me
Trying still to imitate the way you talked
Trying still to imitate the way you walked
But even though I tried hard to erase, the me I was so that nothing remained
I’m still me, hey.
Filling the hole that opened up where my heart is
Every word you said, and every sentence
But it’ll never be the same, the goodbye that never came
I don’t want to hear you say it!
There’s just so much I wanna wipe from my memories
Left all alone, and at the mercy of the years
As I grow cold, as I grow cold
Your words had taken up the space where my heart is
Now there’s a hole that’s opened up where my heart is
I think I get it now
You see, you’re everything to me - the music i’ve been listening to amy
That’s why a hole has opened up where my heart is
Right on the other side of where you existed
It’ll only grow, it’ll only grow, it’ll only grow
Never the way it was before
Alone, in my heart, a gaping hole
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4. |
Hitchcock
03:43
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“Every time it rains I feel my heart begin to ache again but why oh why is that so?”
“When spring turns into summer I can feel my heart turn colder but then why, oh why is that so?”
“When I hear the slightest bit of laughter at the things I do I cry, but why is that so?”
Even though I’m acting so pathetic, will I find somebody sympathetic? Who knows
The word goodbye still fresh in my mind
It tears my heart out slowly inside
The red and pinks that fill up the sky, they set me aglow
Not knowing where I should go
Counsellor, could you give me some advice?
What am I supposed to do with the rest of my life?
Are you just gonna tell me “everything will be alright”, like I’ll believe that lie? Ah!
It’s not like I don’t want to live another day
I just wanna live without feeling any pain
Looking at the sky, my only wish, is it really truly selfish?
“Every time I lie, it always hurts me deep inside but I still do it, why is that so?”
“The bad will always prosper while the good will always suffer too but why oh why is that so?”
“Mone y can’t buy happiness but happiness costs money, could you tell me why is that so?”
Did we ever realise we bought into this system? And whatever they say goes
The price of ignorance these days
Is so much more than what we can pay
If only life was just a film, directed by him...
Then maybe I’d feel something.
Counsellor, I don’t think I can live this way.
Living on like this only causes me pain
Even the greats couldn’t find a way to fill this hole or make it go away, ah!
All I ever wanted to do is close my eyes
Reaching out my fingertips to the summer skies
Living in the past, my only wish, is it really truly selfish?
A piece devoid of death or any tragedy in it… it won’t sell very well I know
The fact that humans can draw a price on petals that fall, is nothing safe from them anymore
Did you have dreams when you were younger, counsellor?
Was it something that you had to throw away when you got older?
Counsellor, could you give me some advice?
What am I supposed to do with the rest of my life?
Saying that I’ll come out stronger after crying’s really such a bullshit lie, ah!
It’s not that I don’t care to live another day
Reality’s just harder to discern out these days
And summer’s just so far away…
So tell me is this really all alright?
Can we live like this for the rest of our life?
Don’t you dare_ tell me that “it’s something only you can make the answer to” alright!?!
Just let me close my eyes, breathe in the summer breeze
Let me feel the wind forever on my cheeks
Looking at the sky my only wish, is it really truly selfish?
Better knowing you my only wish, is it really truly selfish?
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5. |
Just a Sunny Day for You
03:18
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Floating up so high in the sky
Was a moon that drifted like it was floating by
At the bus, stop as I was glancing up
The you as you were had again resurfaced in my mind
It’s fine
Torii, and thin wispy clouds
Summer scents, caress me and linger even now
Standing on my toes looking tall although
I know before long I will grow
Tired playing, we took a little break
Out behind the bus stop, the day was growing late
Even if these days end up ending soon
I’m sure, I’m sure I’ll still remember you
Slowly growing up, far behind I never realised
All the while the night had been blooming in your smile
If I can’t find the words to convey it I’ll be on my own
But it’s alright, it’s okay, I’ve known it all along
It’s fine
Wispy clouds, a fine summer day
Traffic lights so dim, finding shelter in the shade
Oh this scent that lingers inside my mind
Smells like summer all of the time
Lifeless photos can’t make you feel a thing
“Making memories” don’t mean a single goddamn thing!
I was so naiive as I was back then
I didn’t say a_nything
In my eyes, akin to a summer day
Eternal, smiling, never shall you fade
Slowly growing up, looking down I never realised
Under skies so blue, I won’t ever get to you
I couldn’t find the words, so in silence up the hill we climbed
All while the night bloomed inside our shadows far behind
We became adults, looking down we never realised
So raise up your hands, clap them any way you like
if we had looked behind, from the hill against the setting sun
Casting our shadows as one
Slowly growing up, far behind I never realised
All the while the night had been blooming in your smile
Though I can’t find the words, you’ll forever be here by my side
If that’s the case, then it’s fine
I’ve just been chewing your memories this entire time
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6. |
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I’m suddenly taken back to that time
When I waited for you underneath that blue sky
Passing by me in an instant
Slipping from the depths of my imagination
Hey, can somebody tell me what’ll happen next?
Say, tell me how to make it go on just another day
Looking right into your eyes
As I walk away from you one last time
I’m suddenly taken back to that time
All the summers that would bore me out of my mind
Didn’t I quit playing piano?
Out of habit tapping on my desk to play the notes
Hey, can somebody tell me what I’m gonna do?
“Hey, anything besides music should be okay”
Everything will be okay
If you took my heart and drew,
A single note just straight on through
No it wouldn’t disappear believe me
Whatever I do it just won’t disappear
It’s still right here
But I’ve got it wrong again
I don’t understand
I don’t really care though
Not about humans or truth or the world or this life I hold, I don’t really care, no!
Seeing things in black or white, isn’t right, it’s just an excuse right?
One thing’s for sure tho
Everythng is your fault
I’m suddenly taken back to that time
Growing old was the only thing on my mind
Knowing that someday I would die was like a stab in the chest, though I never understood why
“Hey do you know what you’ll be doing one day?”
Passing by the years I knew what I would do one day
I’d be doing nothing at all
All your positivity, ignites a hatred deep in me
Knowing I’ll never be happy
Knowing that I’ll never be enough, can’t you see?
It haunts my every single waking dream
But I know you know I’m right
Though we’re different we’re humans deep inside
But without love, or salvation, or kindness, or comfort though, is it really life? no!
Crying when the radio plays a sappy note, pathetic yes I know
One thing’s for sure tho
That much is your fault
I’ve tried but I still don’t understand why
Why is it we have to fight to live our own life
Why I can’t live off doing the one thing I like
I don’t care if my lyrics are-n’t quite right
I don’t really care, no
‘Cause I think I’ve got it right
Yeah I know I’ve got it right
Yeah I know I’ve got it right?
But I’ve got it wrong again
I don’t understand
I don’t really care though
Not about humans or truth or the world or this life I hold, I don’t really care, no!
Never giving a reply, just philosophic lines, is just an excuse right?
Not that I care tho
Everything is your fault
Even I had dreams long long ago
Now it doesn’t feel the same as it did before
I’ve told you time and time again
It didn’t really matter if nothing came of it, you know
You do know, I know you know, now I can’t do it anymore
So now you know why
So now you know why I don’t do music anymore
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7. |
Rain with Cappuccino
04:31
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These words whirl around my
coffee cup like cappuccino
A little too much foam
Excuses are pointless
So let's drink our cappuccinos
And leave em by the window
My heart whirls around my
coffee cup like cappuccino
A little too much foam
Excuses are pointless
Drink up our cappuccinos
Pretending we don’t know…
This wavering downpour that crashes and falls
It brings a storm of flower petals drowning us all
Your words are staining my memory, it won’t fade away
I pray, I pray, I pray, so you don't, don't end up overflowing
Waves caressing the shore framed
By a picture perfect sunset
Are all that I can see yet
That August in Visby's
With the loud roaring of the seas
My hope dies with the breeze
This evening time downpour that crashes and falls
Will wash away the summer flowers drowning us all
But saving one for myself, one that won't disappear
Oh please, oh please, oh please
Put it in my heart and let it blossom
I've never been alright
I just wanted someone else to tell me how to live my life
Now everything I do, will never be enough to repay you
If there's nothing you can say to me
Anything is fine so please just tell me
Hey could you tell me?
Say something and just answer me
This wavering downpour that crashes and falls
It brings a storm of flower petals drowning us all
These songs I write in your memory, so that you don't fade
I pray, I pray, I pray, that these days don't fade out from my memories
Another summer comes to a conclusion
I hold this flower blooming in my chest and
As I feel the tears spill over, I write
This song with all of our memories, so that you don't fade
I pray, I pray, I pray, so you don't, don't end up overflowing
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8. |
Compulsive Bomber
03:36
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It’s almost time
With a bomb in my hand and a pair of empty eyes
Good night people, tonight I…
I’ll explode it all high into the sky
I feel betrayed
With a bomb in my hand, tears are streaming down my face
I want to fill the sky with a light show
Like the scenes in the dreams that I had long ago
And yet, today was no good, I
And yet, I couldn’t do it this time
Blowing up the past is all I wanted to do
Singing out memories I still have of you
Take these days and make it all explode
Take my heart so I can’t feel no more
It’s not fair at all, when I still recall all the little things you did
I can’t forget it!
I just wanna watch this room explode
I don’t wanna have these dreams anymore
That’s why tonight I…
I’ll blow it all up, blow it high into the skies
It’s almost time
With a bomb in my hand, and a pair of empty eyes
Although it’s pretty crowded today too
No one cares though this bomb is plain in view
Back then, I didn’t understand it
Back then, I took it all for granted
But no matter what, you were always there by my side
Whichever way it blows, these memories won’t die
Take that summer, make it all explode
Take my memories and what they hold
It’s cruel, can’t you see? Without any word you just went and disappeared
You up and left me!
I just wanna watch this town explode
I don’t want to feel this pain anymore
That’s why tonight I…
I’ll blow it all up, blow it high into the sky
I wish I could’ve just smiled more
I wish I could do it all once more
Though they died that day, they’ll find their way back to you
Those pink carnations are forever in bloom
Take these days and make it all explode
Take my heart so I can’t feel no more
I don’t care at all, if no one at all feels the suffering I do, to hell with them too!
I just wanna watch the world explode
If you go away then I’ll be alright
It’s now or never, get out of my sight!
So I’m gonna make it all explode
Cause with that I’ll never feel no more
It’s not fair at all, when I still recall all the little things you did
I can’t forget t!
I just wanna make the night explode
Not the memories of you that I hold
That’s why tonight I…
I’ll blow it all up, blow it high into the sky
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9. |
Thought Crime
04:16
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Somebody like yourself, true and kind
would never understand this aching heart of mine
Cursing other people yes is what I do best, and so I
Write songs to pass the time
I’ve always dreamed of being on TV
To hear the audience lovingly praise me
For now I guess I’ll make this knife sharp as can be
Hear the crash of glass being pounded at
The tearing noise of a sheet of paper torn to shreds
And the setting sun after “goodbye” is said
is just so lovely…
Even that much is plain to see!
The birds cry out their song in the sunset
This empty ache I feel starts to sing a swan song too
And yet you linger still in the shadows
Standing on your toes, sky a flaming red hue
Slipping off my tongue, was my goodbye to you
I wanted to be seen, I want to love
Are these the “dreams” that people talk about?
Just another beggar begging for it to be
I’m lazy. Hurry and satisfy me!
Somebody like yourself, wouldn’t get
This ugly jealousy that simmers in my chest
Always looking for an opportunity to hit and to strike them back
Hear the crash of glass bottles striking lamps
The blaring noise a guitar makes as it’s being slammed
These regrets with no way to make amends
Though it’s lovely
Just the thought, see, that even that much is plain to see...!
The words, relentless, beat down upon me
December slowly creeps into my September heart
And in the spring, the mist in the mountains
Rises in the sky, summer follows behind
Caressing both my cheeks, as the breeze passes by
Somebody like yourself, true and kind
would never understand this aching heart of mine
I’m no good at living but I don’t wanna die, and so I
Write songs to pass the time
I feel it everyday, the words, the hate
The sheer disgust of everybody as they look my way
It’s why I only write songs that hurt other people now
And songs without a soul like the one that you’re hearing now
I wanna drink your words down completely
I use my hands to hold them, nowhere to put them in
One day my drought will no doubt diminish
But until it does, waiting here until then
The birds cry out their song in the sunset
I beg this empty ache, to turn itself into a tune
And say goodbye to you in this sunset
Waiting for the night to come drown me in blue
Slipping off my tongue, is my goodbye to you
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10. |
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Hey, hey
Though I try to speak, all my thoughts will never come to light
I’d just end up with my mouth hanging wide, that’s why
That’s why
Hey, hey
Even in the silence I know exactly what you mean
Eyes say all we really need to it seems
Even now the buzz in my head
Slowly eats away at all of the memories
But I know the things that you said
Every day was laughter when you were with me
I just wanna jump off into the sunset
High above the clouds and out towards the sky’s end
And beneath it all it’s fading so slowly
The town you had shown me…
It seems so lonely
Standing by my shoes a flower is blooming
Fire flowers filled the night with their booming
Maybe in the sky, I could leave behind my heart and its weeping
Summer days are all that I’m dreaming
Hey, hey
Is there any way I could start to think the way you do?
Hey, hey, wouldn’t it be great if I could?
Calm, rest
They don’t mean a thing, all my worries won’t just disappear
That said, shimmering the skyline is clear
Everything I’ve eaten away
Came at the expense of somebody else’s life
Even then I can’t find my place
Dreaming of the nighthawk that’s high in the sky
I just wanna dance away in the sunrise
If I could I know I’d wish to the night sky
Over time you’ve faded far from my sight
But my eyes won’t forget you
They just don’t want to
Underneath it all the flowers are crying
Fire flowers ringing out as they’re dying
Even just the thought of hearing the sound, it brings me to weeping
Summer pains are all that I’m hearing
Hey, Hey
Even if these wings take me far away into the sky
I’d say
That I still want you by my side, that’s why…
that’s why…
I just wanna jump off into the sunset
High above the stars now, hoping to end this
And beneath it all it’s fading so slowly
The town you had shown me…
It’s just so lonely
In the summer sky the flowers are blooming
Fire flowers filled the night with their booming
Thinking that the pain will never subside, the tears never leave me
Summer days are now but a memory
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11. |
Ghost in a Flower
04:03
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Now, I’m sure there’s not a thought in your mind
Of shaded days in summer I sat by your side
While sharing frozen cones that melt in the light
A summer breeze lullaby
Now, I’m sure there’s not a thought in your mind
Of how we both had mocked the world and all of its lies
We’d pack our bags and run away and find something exciting
Building our own peace of mind
Hope that you never forget
I hope that you never regret
I hope that things you’ll never touch or see with your eyes can still remind
Let me hear your voice calling me to rest
Tell me that the summer has come again
As I paint a memory, an image haunting me, a pretty ghost--all that’s left
Fluttering my skirt in the breeze and then
I can not recall how the story ends
Take another breath and find
Summer’s coming fast; time to move ahead
Now, I’m sure there’s not a thought in your mind
Of shaded days in summer I sat by your side
The puffy clouds had hidden right behind the lines
Of the hills in the twilight
Reaching out a hand you tried to call to the sky
But nothing had felt your touch, though hard you had tried
I drew a single cloud upon the canvas laughing sadly and
Had held it so gently in mine
Hope that you never forget
I hope that you never regret
I hope the things that never had their own happy end can still remind
Now without a face that I call mine
Every single word that I left behind
I can see you laughing free, and waiting patiently, a pair of ghosts--you and I
Let me hear the voice that I couldn’t find
Everything you felt so deep inside
Take another breath and find…
Hope that you never forget
I hope that you never regret
I hope the things the older you has left long behind can still remind
Let me hear your voice calling me to rest
Tell me that our story is gonna end
I can see it blossoming, within the summer breeze, now the ghost blooms again
At a time where words all’ve been spent
Emotions that live on in a single breath
Take another breath and find
Summer’s coming fast; time to move ahead
I can smell the warmth in the wind
I can smell the warmth in the wind
Now, I’m sure there’s not a thought in your mind
Of shaded days in summer I sat by your side
While sharing frozen cones that melt in the light
A summer breeze lullaby
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